Michael Cybulski
Posted Feb 05, 2021
at 02:53pm
Eulogy for Mom
Suzy and I would like to thank you all for coming to pay your respects to Mom, especially during these challenging Pandemic times.
Family and Friends were the most important thing in the world to Mom. I think many of you know that, based on the stories and comments that you have recently shared with me. Mom loved seeing those she loved thrive and succeed and so enjoyed being a part of any gathering that would allow her to do that, from Birthday parties to holidays to a summer gathering. This desire to stay connected and to be part of everyones successes was a primary driver in Mom signing up for Facebook in her 70’s. I am not even on Facebook. Mom cherished being able to see pictures and posts and loved to comment and send love to everyone.
Years ago, I came to Mom’s house to drive her to a little cousin’s birthday party. I noticed on Mom’s arm that there were red marks radiating out from her elbow. I asked her if it was warm to the touch…she said “yes”. I put my hand on her arm and could feel the heat. I told Mom, I think this could be an infection and we need to take you to urgent care. Mom’s immediate response was no no….I want to go to the party….we can go after. I convinced her that we needed to go to urgent care and unfortunately she was hospitalized over night in order to get antibiotics for the infection. If Mom had her druthers, we would have been at that party and not the hospital!
Mom also enjoyed time spent with family and friends, playing cards, games or working on puzzles and loved many online games including candy crush. Mom liked to win and, if you didn’t time her during Trivial pursuit, you might have to wait 5 minutes for her answer. Mom kept her mind sharp. Mom also enjoyed trips with the aunts, family and sometimes friends to go play the slots. This could be trips to Vegas or one of the more local casinos. I never really knew if mom came back ahead or in the hole, she just enjoyed being with everyone and taking a shot at the slots.
While talking with a few of our family and friends….I started to hear “surrogate mom” and “she was a great listener”. I loved hearing this …who wouldn’t love hearing that about their mom. Telling Mom something private was like locking it in the vault. I can’t tell you how many times I would realize Mom knew something for weeks before I heard it. I’d ask….”why didn’t you tell me?”…she would simply say it wasn’t my place….they asked me to keep it to myself. So, if you ever told Mom something in confidence, I can promise you that it stayed with her, and Suzy and I have absolutely no idea. You could trust Mom implicitly and it was so lovely to hear that many of you felt that, just as Suzy and I have always known.
Mom loved mysteries, from reading Agatha Christie novels when we were younger to the mystery shows on TV. Mom loved Angela Lansbury and “Murder She Wrote” and never came across an episode she wasn’t willing to watch again. Mom’s DVR is also full of the classics from Turner Classic Movies as she wanted to have them on hand. She always found switching cable companies to be daunting, as she would have to rebuild her collection. Mom was also an avid Jeopardy watcher and would record the weeks worth of episodes and typically watch them all at one time. She’d often save them for when Suzy and I would visit, and we would watch them together just like she used to watch them with her mom.
Suzy and I learned to swim from Mom. You might think, well sure, I learned to swim from my mom too. What we didn’t know, until much later, was that Mom was terrified of putting her face in the water and afraid of swimming. She hid her fear so that we would not be afraid. That was the kind of mom she was.
Mom was so strong for so long. She had 7 instances of cancer over the last 22 years and 3 different types of cancer among those. She was a fighter, our energizer bunny, and did her absolute best to stay with us as long as she could.
Suzy and I know we were terribly lucky and privileged to have such a wonderful Mom. She was simply the best, and we will miss her to infinity to the power of infinity.
I don’t know how many years ago I started to say this….When Mom said “I love you”, I would respond with “I love you More”. It was never with the thought that I could actually love more than she did, but I just wanted to express in some small way that she would always remember how grateful I was to be loved by her.
Mom was not a demanding person, she had simple needs and loved nothing more than a good back scratch. I can see her now, shrugging her shoulders and leaning forward and saying “scratch” or “scratchy”. Suzy was the preferred back scratcher as my nails were always too short for mom’s liking. We are sending you unending back scratches in heaven, Mom. I know you are there with Dad, I have absolute faith.